Withdrawn
by SilentBigCat
Summary: Just a little story I came up with on a whim, nothing special. Sorry I suck at this- *cough* Not sure if I'll continue with other chapters...maybe if y'all enjoy it. / Russia is struggling to keep his emotions hidden to himself, and to add to his over-bearing stress, a world meeting is in order. Will he be able to keep his instability hidden? or will new feelings erase it all?
1. Chapter 1

Leaning into the marble in his bathroom, Ivan stared into the large, stainless mirror. The only light allowing him to see came from a cracked door adjacent to the one he stood in- his bedroom. He had awoke many times before to the same bodyless, desperate whispering as he had tonight, but never before had it been so _clear_\- so..._convincing. Understanding. Truthful._

His vision never left the mirror, locked into his own eyes in his own world.

Yet- it wasn't his world, was it?

His reflection- he knew it well. Better than anyone else, at least. However, no one said he had to like it.

His view became suddenly misty; distortion creating a film over his eyes. "I _hate _you..." he rasped. The man in the mirror only smiled back.

With a tilt of the head, Ivan began to wonder. _Is this what everyone sees in me? Is this why I see fear in their eyes when I look at them? Must I remain an outcast? A fairytale demon that they tell their children at night? Do they believe the stories? Do they remember myself like I do?_

_...Do I really know right from wrong?_

_...Is there something wrong with me? _

_...Will I ever be okay...? _

_...No. _

Glass flitted past pale skin onto the tiles of the bathroom floor. Great cracks, streaking through the glass like endless rivers from the lake of blood created by the Russian's fist were created in the aftermath of the man's sudden fit of rage. Removing his torn knuckles from the mirror, he stared at what remained of himself. _I...I've lost..._

Transfering his focus to the tiles where blood was creating another strange lake, he held his hand and let out a shuddering sigh. He slowly backed out of the glass which had found its way to the floor with meager cuts to his feet.

_I'll never be okay- I'll never know what's good- I'll never know what's wrong-_

"WHY WON'T SOMEONE HELP ME?" He wailed, doubling over in his blind rage, clenching his bloody fists. "HELP ME UNDERSTAND-!"

Ivan awoke in a state of panic, sitting up quickly in his large, empty bed. Panting, he gripped his chest out of desperation to feel something- something warm. He wished to feel another's hand in his- arms around his broad shoulders- a calm, real voice, whispering that everything was going to be fine- and that he had just had one of those bad dreams again.

Letting out a solemn breath, he looked down at his bandaged knuckles. _Hopefully_..._Nobody will notice this._ He thought as he climbed out of bed, crossing the room in a few steps to his closet. Luckily, he remembered this time that there was a world meeting tomorrow morning. Ivan shuffled through his clothes and picked out some items that matched, and slid them on, ending with his gloves and scarf. Upon opening his bedroom door, his mind racing aimlessly, he concluded that he was in no mood to eat breakfast. Blinking, he glanced to his left down the hallway, fixing his glove. With a ginger smile, he remembered when the hall used to bustle with the sound of his sisters and the Baltics waking to the mixed scents of delicious cuisine Katyusha would cook every morning. Ukraine had always taken care of everyone- she was the big sister after all. With a close of his eyes, he was almost certain he could recall the sights and sounds of the household awakening as the sun peaked over the forest surrounding the enormous home. His lilac eyes were flushed pink around the edges, and Ivan found it hard to swallow for a moment. He would have given anything to have that life back...

Suddenly, he was brought back to reality with the beeping of his watch- the initial alarm he had set to wake up to. Russia fixed his scarf, grabbed his bags and set out the door- not bothering to lock it. Who would go in his house- let alone know where he lived anyway?

-8:00p.m.; Paris, France-

Finally settled into his grand hotel room overlooking the Seine river, Ivan walked out onto his balcony, taking in the sight of the nearly lit Eiffel Tower (which was suprisingly close in his opinion) set against the pink sky of dusk. It was mid-spring, and it felt pleasant to be warmer for once in his life. He closed his eyes and let the wind ruffle his platinum locks while he took in the scent of the river below. His purple irises then turned to see other balconies beside his, some occupied by a single person as well- excluding France's, of course. He always had some new girlfriend to show the glory of his capital city. Typical France.

Ivan on the other hand couldn't help watching for a moment- one of his simply unbreakable habits: staring. He simply enjoyed learning about the others from what they would consider a "safe distance." And in some cases, that was true.

Francis was currently crooning over some new model, Ivan had learned from England's series of complaints one day. Ivan assumed the girl he was with on the balcony was the said girl. He couldn't really blame the frenchman- models were very stunning... but Russia couldn't really complain either. He had never been on a date with a pretty girl in his entire existance...and the closest thing he had to a first kiss was Bela- but that's a different story-

With his chin in his hand, leaning on the balcony rail, Ivan examined further the other countries occupying the nearby rooms. The ever-silent Japan was a few doors closer than Francis, and apparently didn't enjoy the make-out session that was obscuring his view of Paris, so he had escaped to the safety of his hotel room. Italy, however, seemed to be enjoying the view.

Ivan didn't have to even turn his head to tell who had been booked too close for their comfort on the other side of him.

"Duuuuuude! Check out the Eiffel Tower!"

Then there was a snort, "Not as amazing as Big Ben, if you ask me."

"Not as small as Big Ben, if you ask me!" was the retort, followed by heroic laughter, and bloody screeching about monarchy and respecting the one-of-a-kind architecture that was Big Ben.

Ivan couldn't help but turn his head, but found his _own _view obscured by something.

He found that Germany had been booked right next door to him, who was also checking out the sights of Paris from the balcony, as well as the bickering brothers nearby. Ivan caught himself staring again, his mind racing. He couldn't remember the last time he had been so close to Ludwig...other than during World War II...

The tall nation swallowed, and looked away, trying to clear the fog of vivid memories which had begun to cloud his vision. _At least it wasn't Gilbert next door...Then we would have a problem._

...But then Ivan caught himself staring again, his sudden train of thought becoming nothing but a distant haze as he narrowed his eyes a bit.

_Ludwig..._

Ivan wondered if the German still hated him- they had never been on good terms since their secret pact, and the invasions of Stalingrad and Berlin...

_I'm sure he does..._

_What if I apologized-?_

Ivan gripped the rail abruptly, focusing his vision on the river slipping slowly by below them.

_Apologize? Are you stupid? Who would ever accept __your__ apology... _

Ivan couldn't help but give a saddened smile, still focused on the water and small boats meandering by, creating waves in the Seine.

"It's beautiful here, don't you think?"

Ivan looked over, eyes a bit wide as his smile evaporated. Ludwig had just spoken to _him? _

"I've never watched the sunset before here..." Ludwig said, a slight smile formed on his normally straight, serious features. He glanced at Russia, and blinked when he saw his expression.

Ivan finally realized he had been staring when they made eye-contact, and he snapped his face back into a cheery smile. "O-Oh. Da..- Very beautiful. I've never really...watched the sunset here." the older nation replied with a hint of nervousness. "V-Very...Beautiful..." He swallowed, returning Germany's aquatic gaze.

Germany smiled a bit once more, looking across the countless rooftops to the immaculent tower of light, set against a new backdrop of stars and darkness which was steadily replacing the blush-pink hues. "Ja...I-"

"Doiitsuuu!" Italy came out of nowhere, tugging at the German's sleeve, who jumped at the sound of his voice, then relaxed with a stressful sigh.

"How did you get in-?" He sighed again, turning to look at the short brunette. "Nevermind that. What do you want?"

"It's getting dark and- and- I don't want to sleep by myself..." The worried Italian boy frowned, his hazel eyes sparkling and brimming with childish tears.

Ludwig finally pinched the bridge of his nose after a moment of tense silence, and said "...Fine. You can sleep with me."

Feliciano began to celebrate and gave his friend a tight hug, and recieved a pat on the head in return for his "generosity." Ludwig looked to the balcony beside them. "Iv-..." He held his tounge, realizing Russia had left the scene.

After shutting and locking his tall, glass balcony doors, and pulling the curtains to, Ivan took a seat on the bed. The pang in his chest was strange, as if his heart was being held captive; like a bird being squeezed in a relentless vice. Tears once again burned against his lower lids as he held his cheeks in his hands, leaning on his knees. He felt uneasy- nervous- and..._hurt. _Why? Standing, he began to pace, like a tiger watching from a steel cage. He picked up his phone from the desk, clenching it tightly in his hands, prepared to fling it and watch it burst into little pieces on the hotel floor. After a minute, a few tears rolled down his usually pale cheeks. Flushed and dizzy, Russia dropped the phone, and let himself collapse, sitting on the carpet. He held his knees, burying his face in the only warmth he could find.

What _was _wrong with him...?


	2. Chapter 2

[OMG! Thanks for all the kind words guys! Here's a second chapter in return for the support. Thank you! I hope you enjoy :)]

At dawn, God's fingers reached across the pale sky as fog settled over the city. Ivan had decided to forget about the events of the day before, and his deep sleep, not interrupted by impure dreams this time, only helped his occasionally failing memory. Ivan walked with his gloved hands in the deep pockets of his long, white coat, which was decorated with golden buttons running parallel up and down the front of it. He enjoyed the unfamiliar sights of foreign signs and famous structures and monuments as he strolled. The smell of sweet, fresh, roasting bread filled his nose as he passed a pastery shop, and he gave a grin when the taste seemed to linger on his tounge. Even the sounds of the people of France as they awoke to start their new day entertained him.

Soon, he rounded a corner, and came to a stop as a stretch of cobblestone street stretched out before him. Looking both ways, he did not spot the large center where the meeting would begin- _soon._

_...Eh. What do I care if I'm late? I could just enjoy the city all day, they can start without me. _And he proceeded to walk, taking a right.

After a few steps, his guilty concience (usually no where to be found) seemed to wrap itself around his ankles. He sighed with a glance down to his shiny black boots. _I guess I should have picked up that map at the hotel afterall... _He swallowed, a bit worried he might _actually _be lost, or wander too far from the hotel. _Could I even find my way back now-? _He thought with a pivot, and bumped directly into a pair of endless, ocean blue eyes.

Germany blinked up at him and cleared his throat, "Oh, my fault Ivan. I was too busy staring at this map- If I'm not careful I'll probably walk right past the center."

Russia stared back down at the younger nation with his own strange lilac orbs. "It's okay, da? It happens," he replied, then adding, "I seem to have gotten a bit lost myself-"

_Why did I just admit that._ He mentally scolded himself for making himself look like a fool. However, he must have forgotten that he wasn't talking to someone like America.

"Why don't you walk with me?" Germany gave a small smile.

Russia felt a warmth fill his cheeks and ears. "...Okay."

Soon, they were walking together to the Conference Center.

The warmth still lingered in Ivan's cheeks as he swallowed in effort to clear his mind. He hadn't felt like this in a while- or had he _ever _felt like this? He wasn't sure. What was this feeling anyway?

_Happiness? _

The Russian wasn't sure if Ludwig could tell that he was a tad flustered, or if he had made him feel anything at all- but-

_He liked it..._

Turning his head slightly, he watched Germany analyzing the map, unaware he was beginning to stare again. He wore a childish grin, like a young boy in a candy store who was eyeballing his favorite treat. Ivan was almost unable to maintain a good view of him, he was so jittery. He remembered a few things- but especially a moment like this he had before, "back in the day."

Ivan and Ludwig had walked down the street together before- when Ivan wasn't alone. He remembered how much he enjoyed his company: the serious demeanour, intelligent conversation- and Germany didn't _act _afraid of him like others back then-

And he still didn't act afraid.

Heck, Ludwig had even smiled at him.

Could they have the same friendship they started years ago again...?

Ludwig paused a moment, with a relieved, "Ahhh, There it is," with a nod of his head to the good-sized building ahead of them. "Room 49 E." With that, he put the map away and cautiously crossed the street with Ivan at his side. Once inside, they rode the elevator to the fourth and top floor, and walked down the hall to the meeting room. With a glance at his black watch, Germany opened the door, thinking aloud, "Arrived with ten minutes to spare. Not too bad..."

Most of the nations had already taken their seats, and were chattering away as usual. Nothing appeared too tense yet, to everyone's relief. An invisible cloak of peace was currently covering the room. Russia wasted no time and took his seat and layed his hands in his lap, scooting up. He glanced down the table at everyone. _An excellent angle, _he thought, pleased that everyone who was interesting was in his sight from his seat near the end of the long, mahoghany table.

England, France and America were conversing with rude jokes, it appeared.

Japan and China remained as far from one another in the section of Asian countries, and sat quietly. Meanwhile, inbetween the two were the noisy ones.

South Korea, mainly.

Once his eyes travelled to Ukraine, his heart panged sadly in his chest, his half-hearted smile being replaced with a melancholy mask. She had caught one glance with him, and averted her eyes as quickly as possible. Maybe she just couldn't bear to look at him today...

Belarus, on the other hand, couldn't keep her eyes off of him as usual, so he reverted to Ukraine's method of selective sight.

Passing over the Baltics, he noticed the Italy brothers taking a seat beside Germany.

_Italy..._

He was so close to Germany- how did he do it-?

A slap of a clipboard on the head of the table unglued his eyes from the Italians and German. America stood at the head of the table, a wooden clip board which held onto his selected topics held in his hand. "I'm starting this meeting, alright? If someone's not here- it's their loss, not hearing my heroic words and knowledgeable opinions." He winked, and England gave a rough sigh.

"Will you just get on with it?"said the British man, crossing his arms.

America simply replied, "I would if you'd _hop off me,_" then giving that usual snot-nosed grin.

-9:31 P.M.; Conference Center-

Ivan's backside felt terribly stiff from sitting in the same chair for hours- literally. He was even beginning to fall into the depths of boredom and inevitable drowsiness until now.

The meeting was supposed to end earlier- but things ended up getting extremely heated. Everyone felt uneasy, and some even a bit nauseous, even Russia.

America was leaning into the table, returning Germany's searing glare. Ivan could tell by the look in both of their eyes, a hurricane was brewing behind their usually calm ocean irises.

"Mind saying that again, Alfred?" growled Ludwig, using all his strength to remain in his seat. His fist was clenched tightly, resting on the glossy table near Alfred's.

Ivan didn't even remember what they were arguing about, he had been so out of it.

Then, the line was crossed- but it definitely wasn't just a line.

It was a massive threshold.

And Alfred had tracked his muddy boots across it.

He laughed, and replied with a dirty smirk on his face, "I don't repeat myself to Nazi scum like you-"

Ludwig's expression changed drastically as he inhaled sharply, and Ivan was sure he could even see tears brimming in his eyes. Every country had something they wanted to leave behind, and "Nazi" was the one word Germany never seemed to be able to escape. Who knew how many nightmares Ludwig had about those days. If Ivan had this much trouble with his own past- God knew how hard it was for Germany to go day to day without cracking. Putting on a new uniform- walking around town- attending meetings like this one- people's eyes- his own thoughts- his dreams- even looking at his brother every day-

England leapt up, his voice straining to keep calm- although the tension had already been cut loose to bleed. "A-ALFRED YOU-"

"Have **_no_** right to speak to him like that," Ivan said, occupying the space between America and Germany with his usual blank smile in the blink of an eye, "And you know it." He pushed the American back with one hand, gently, but enough to make him move, making the gap less cramped and uncomfortable.

Alfred snap his eyes to Ivan now, gritting his teeth. "Oh, so you're going to take up for _him, _not _me, _huh? I thought maybe you'd _changed_, but I guess you're still as much of a Soviet as he is a-"

"Shut up." Ivan gripped his cheeks with an iron hand, smile fading fast. A lilac flame burned furiously in his eyes. Alfred grabbed his wrist and flung his hand away as quickly as he had been grabbed, and stuck a firm finger in Ivan's face.

"Keep your _digusting, blood-covered _hands off of me- Oh yeah, I know. Katy told me EVERYTHING about YO-!"

Ivan found himself holding America by the collar against the wall in a near choking grip, nose nearly pressed against his as he growled in his blind fury. Alfred only stared back into Ivan's unwavering gaze, gripping his wrists in his hands once again. No one within the meeting room dared to move, let alone breathe. It was eerily silent, and the only thing Ivan could hear was a slight ringing in his ears, and his own deep, ragged breathing.

After a few un-nerving minutes, Ivan released his hold on America, and slowly looked over his shoulder at his older sister.

Ukraine could do nothing but sit there.

Tears had long since left her eyes where she sat, leaving long, wet streaks on her cheeks as she tried not to wail.

Her eyes seemed to be empty, except for the words-

_"I'm sorry."_

...but it was too late, Ivan had had enough.

He bolted for the door, slamming it behind himself as he made his escape.

Ivan didn't stop there, even for the voice that was calling his name behind him. He didn't want to see anyone- not even himself.

He flew down the stairs in his adrenaline-crazed race out the door and ended up outside on the side walk and ran into the street without a second thought, becoming blinded by a blaring light.

"IVAN!"

A forceful push from behind placed him on the other sidewalk.

After pulling himself together mentally, he glanced down with a concerned look on his face at the pair of arms still wrapped tight around his torso.

_Who-?_

Glancing to his left, he found Germany's subtle blue eyes again, but they were still filled with uncalm seas. Ludwig was panting, and gave a hard swallow. "Ivan- please, dont run."

_Don't run?_

Ivan felt warm again.

_Please-_

A blurry mass of small black dots obscured his vision.

_Don't leave-_

He felt sick to his stomach.

_Ivan are you okay-?_

He couldn't hear any longer as a dead ringing filled his ears.

_Black._


	3. Chapter 3

_[Thank you all so much again for all the positive feedback and such! ;u; here's another chapter, I hope y'all like it. Keep reviewing! by the by, I apologize for not adding accents, they're so frustrating to put in...lol...I hope you enjoy!]_

_[Also, this __**may **__be my __**final **__chapter. I think it is a good ending point, but...you tell me! If anyone sees another opening and has an idea, tell me in your review, or if you prefer it ended like this, tell me~! Remember, I can always write a new story. :) Happy reading!] _

_Warmth..._

_He felt...warm. Warmer than usual. As if he were floating._

_Was he dead? _

_He couldn't remember a thing..._

_His lilac eyes flitted open and focused after a brief moment._

_Clouds. _

_Sitting up slowly, he put his hands down to help him._

_Grass._

_The sweet scent of raw nature filled his nose, and he smiled- a genuine smile. _

_His mouth opened at the sight in front of him- he was completely intranced._

_Sunflowers. Sweet sunflowers. _

_Fumbling to his feet with a start, he raced across the field to meet them. He stopped just before them, panting._

_Were they real? _

_He could only know if he touched them. _

_Touch..._

_Feel..._

_He extended out a hand, desperate to know._

_Touch..._

_He returned his hand to its original position. He had had dreams similar to this before._

_But..._

_Was he dreaming? _

_He closed his eyes once more, and reached, swallowing hard._

_Touch._

The object in his hand did not feel like a sunflower, let alone a petal.

And he realized, slowly, that he wasn't standing anymore. He felt the cushy, coolness of the bed beneath him with his free hand.

He had woke from his dream-state.

Feeling the object, he noticed it had...fingers-? Five of them, no doubt.

Ivan's eyes flickered open and adjusted to the gentle sunlight coming in the windows in the room. Blinking, he walked his eyes up the hand he held captive with his own, straight into the sky blue eyes of- wait- Germany?

_Germany. _

_Germany's hand._

_Not to mention Germany's face, which was the perfect painting of confusion; not to mention he was blinking as if he didn't recognize Ivan._

"Oh-" Russia said once he fully processed the scene, and sat up, releasing his hand, "Prosti menya- I mean forgive me-"

Germany cleared his throat and looked at him, his cheeks a bit flushed. "It's fine, it's fine, don't worry about it." He took a seat on the edge of the bed, and placed that same, warm hand on Ivan's forehead. "Are you alright? You passed out last night. I was worried-" then he stopped.

Ivan stared back at him, and swallowed.

_Ludwig's hand was so warm..._

_Warmth..._

"Da..I feel...fine..." He managed. "I passed out...?"

"That's good." Ludwig replied, and smiled, a hint of worry flashing in his eyes as he stood. "Ja, you fainted after...that heated arguement started with America. You ran outside."

There was a moment of silence as Russia remembered vaguely the events Ludwig was telling him. "Oh..."

"I'm making breakfast for us if you're hungry. The kitchen is this way." He pivoted and walked around the corner of his hotel room, and entered the neat little kitchen.

Ivan watched him disappear. Only when he was gone did he transfer his gaze to the bed sheets.

His mind began to race.

_Was this Germany's room-? I passed out-? He took care of me-?_

_He cares for me-? _

_He cares...? _

Ivan slipped his legs to the side, out of the covers, and walked to the corner. He glanced around the edge of the wall at the blond, who was cooking diligently.

He thought about Ludwig's warm hand, the feeling of his warmth and softness still lingering on his forehead. He thought about the brightness of his face, hair and eyes.

Ludwig reminded him of a sunflower.

Warm and Perfect.

Slowly, he made his way over and sat down on a bar stool at the counter at the opposite side of the kitchen, watching him cook from behind. Ludwig had obviously had a shower, but his hair wasn't cleanly slicked back into place like usual. It was untamed, but not a mess. Ludwig looked pretty good when he wasn't all business.

He put his elbow on the table and held his chin in his palm, gaze never wavering. A strange warmth filled his cheeks and chest as he watched. Germany glanced over his shoulder at him, and Ivan couldn't help but smile.

Suddenly, Ivan's mouth started making words. "How did I end up in your bed-? Well in your room, anyway- you didn't carry me, did-"

Ludwig interrupted quickly, "Well of course I did. You're not that heavy. It was no problem."

There was a moment of silence before Ludwig continued, "And, well...I initially put you on the couch, but...I... felt like I needed to monitor you." He cleared his throat again.

_Maybe he really did care..._

"Oh..." Ivan thought aloud, a bit embarassed. "I'm sorry for putting you through so much trouble-"

Germany shook his head and looked at him with a smile as he set Ivan's plate of sausage, sunny side-up eggs, and buttered toast on the counter and slid it over. "I have never heard you apologize so much in your life, Ivan." He gave a quiet chuckle and walked around the counter, sitting with his own plate.

Ivan fell quiet and shut his gaping mouth, a wave of even worse embarassment passing through him. His face must have been cherry-red. No longer able to look at Germany, he turned and started playing with his food- like a child who had just been scolded by their parents at the dinner table.

Ludwig turned as well, but couldn't help but stop and shake his head with a smile when he caught Ivan playing with his food out of the corner of his eye.

Eventually, both Russia and Germany cleaned their plates.

After rinsing the plates and putting them in the dish washer Ludwig glanced down at his watch, "Ten o'clock," he gave a _tsk,_ "I never usually start this late."

_Late? _

Ivan opened his mouth but shut it when Ludwig shot him a cocked eyebrow and half smiled look that only could have meant "If you say sorry again, you_ will_ be sorry."

"What are you doing today?" Ivan decided to say instead.

Ludwig sighed in thought and pulled a light jacket on over his tank top. "Nothing important for once."

Ivan smiled.

_Maybe we could spend the day together-? _

_Alone...with him._

Suddenly the thought sounded a bit scary to him. Ivan hadn't spent lengthy personal time with another country for years and-

"I guess this means we can go tour Paris together. Come on." Ludwig slipped his room key into his pocket and opened the door.

The tall Russian did not hesitate to follow.

Once they were out on the sidewalk, Ludwig looked at him. "So, where to first?"

Ivan blinked and thought a moment. "Across the street." He pointed at the Seine river, flowing by easily, only momentarily interrupted by a passing boat.

Ludwig chuckled a bit. "Very well."

And so they walked, side by side, together, to the corner, steps perfectly in synch with one another.

Ivan smiled with his hands in his pockets, rocking on his heels as they made sure the street was clear of traffic. When safe, they crossed and made their way to the water's edge. They stood for about five minutes, watching the boats go by and the waves which followed. Once bored with the river, Ludwig asked what Ivan thought of it, only to get "Looks deep," in return.

Ludwig and Ivan crossed the bridge a little ways down and began walking aimlessly through the streets of Paris. They began to strike up conversation, and carried on constantly, sharing a story now and then. They talked about old times and good times, but never seemed to bring up anything bad. Whenever a bad subject came up, on the part of either side, Ludwig proceeded to a new, better topic.

And Ivan appreciated it.

The two stopped at a small restraunt around 2:30, and shared a late lunch, talking the whole of the time. This caused them to sit there until five o'clock, because they were so side tracked-

Once out of the restraunt Ludwig turned to Ivan and then looked past him up the street. "Ah," he nodded his head, "Let's head that way."

The two started off on their walk again, never tiring of walking or their company.

Ivan looked down and smiled, watching their synchronized steps, and gave a giggle.

Ludwig looked up at him, raising an eyebrow. He looked down as well. "What is it? Did I step in something?"

Russia shook his head, grinning away. "Nyet, I just remembered...They say that if you match steps with someone, you understand each other..."

Germany blinked at this new information, and looked at their steps with a faint blush coming into his cheeks. "Then I guess we understand one another..." He smiled a bit at the older nation.

They looked at each other a moment, walking together, smiling in a new found silence.

Then Ludwig almost walked into a tree on the sidewalk, and Ivan laughed.

Ludwig blushed with embarassment, and Ivan patted him on the back. "Maybe you should wear those glasses of yours _all _the time."

Ludwig retorted with "Those are for reading-!" only to be cut off by the loud honk of a car.

Both of them turned their heads to see a huge arch, surrounded by a circular avenue.

The Des Champs Elysees, with the outstandingly beautiful L'arc de Triomphe in the center.

Both nations opened their mouths at the size of the pale white arc, and stared for a second. "Oh. Wow."

They fought to make their way across the crazy traffic of the huge traffic circle, and eventually were rewarded by standing right underneath the arc. Walking underneath the immense structure, they admired the detail and embellishments, and found the guards walking around the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. After paying their respects and admiring two of France's amazing sights, they made their way back across the traffic circle, and walked down a new street, chattering away.

The sun sat on the rooftops of the many buildings surrounding them, watching them walk around the city until it could be seen no more.

Ivan noticed the sun was no longer in the sky, and guessed it was sunset. He stopped, remembering something, and gasped happily.

Ludwig stopped a few steps ahead of him and looked back at him. "What is it?"

Ivan grinned. "The Eiffel Tower! It should be starting to light up by now! Come on!" and with that, he started down the street, Ludwig following right behind.

By the time they reached the grand tower, it was indeed, lit up, from head to toe.

Ivan and Ludwig walked into the grass and stood, craning their heads back to take it all in. It was enormous up close, and far away.

"Woooow~" Ivan sighed, smiling at it. He looked at Germany, "Isn't it pretty?" He asked as they got a bit closer.

"Ja, it is..." He replied, looking at Ivan, who was slightly ahead of him. "You know we could go up there. Maybe the other countries haven't beat us yet."

Russia looked at him, eyes a bit wide. "Up...there...?"

Germany nodded, "Up there," he put his hand on the taller man's shoulder and began leading him over.

Ivan stopped when they got to the tower, and Germany turned and looked at him. "What's wrong? Afraid of heights?"

Russia looked at him and then looked down, and showed him one hand, with his index finger and thumb an inch apart. Ludwig only smiled.

"Its alright, I won't let anything bad happen to you. I promise."

Ivan raised his head, blinking his lavender eyes at the German nation, who had his hand out.

"You can... hold my hand if you'd like."

Ivan couldn't help but blush, and hesitated a moment before he took his hand and stepped onto the elevator. He didn't even notice they were halfway to the top. All Ivan was thinking about was the feeling of Germany's hand in his. All Ivan could hear were those words-

_"It's alright, I won't let anything bad happen to you."_

_"I promise."_

_Ludwig had promised._

The doors opened up again, and Ivan's eyes were filled with dark pink-purple skies decorated with stars, and the silhouettes of tall buildings and Paris streets, dotted with dimly lit windows. Ludwig lead him off the elevator, and over to the railing. Then, Ivan couldn't help but look down, and caught his breath in his throat when he saw the ant-like people below, and realized how far up they were.

Immediately, Ivan squeezed Ludwig's hand and stepped back.

Ludwig smiled and looked the Russian in the eyes, not bothered much by the pressure. "I've got you, Ja? I promised. There's nothing to worry about."

Russia stared straight back at him, face flushing pink as he let Germany lead him back over to the railing, place Ivan's hand on it, and place his own on top of it. They were standing close together, and Ivan didn't feel as worried...

_Ludwig promised..._

Ludwig smiled back at him, returning his gaze.

_"I promise."_

"Ludwig..." Ivan breathed out.

"Hey! Ludwig-"

The warmth of Germany's hand had left Ivan as Ludwig turned to the person who was calling his name, and a cold chill spiraled up Ivan's spine. His eyes were unglued from Germany, and now faced-

_Alfred._

Ivan released the railing, and held his hand in his own. Ludwig raised an eyebrow at the American, clearly a bit unsettled by his sudden appearance, "Erm...Ja?"

Ivan figured Alfred must have already been on the other side of the 360 degree viewpoint.

_But why...?_

Alfred sighed and rubbed the back of his head. "Look, Ludwig...I'm sorry. I couldn't leave things with us so...scrambled...It was my fault. You're not a Nazi- you've made a change for the better, and I really respect you...I apologize for bringing up such a tender topic. Things got really out of hand and..."

Ludwig nodded and replied calmly, "Ja, I understand. Apology accepted. I'm sorry too, Alfred- it wasn't completely your fault. Danke for talking to me."

Alfred grinned, loosening up a bit. "Cool..." he put his fist out to Germany.

Germany only hesitated, sighed, rolled his eyes, and returned the fist bump.

The now giddy American chuckled and finally,(indirectly), spoke to Ivan, "So, you guys wanna get lunch or something tomorrow-?"

Then the elevator bell went off, and Ivan turned his head.

_If only to make matters worse._

Another, shorter, platinum blonde bounded off the elevator with a bounce in her step. "Alfie~!" She exclaimed, hurried up to him without another thought, and kissed him on the cheek.

It was Ukraine.

Alfred froze, staring at Ivan, and suddenly, Ukraine noticed he was there. Her brother. She had just kissed the one man he couldn't stand-

_kissed him._

_On the cheek._

Ivan stared them down, smile no where to be seen. However, he did not appear angry- or in any particular mood for that matter. He just stared...

And with one step, he turned, and walked onto the elevator.

_Vanya, wait-! _

_Click._

The elevator doors were shut tight.

He couldn't hear a thing on the ride down, and barely noticed a thing on the trip. He stepped out quickly once the elevator hit bottom.

_Vanya._

Suddenly, there was a tightness around his hand, and he broke free of his trance, and he turned around.

Ludwig.

"Ivan...please wait..." He was looking up at him with those beautiful blue orbs. He seemed to gaze right into Ivan, because once they locked eyes, Ivan felt okay again. He felt warm again. Ludwig was like his sun.

Russia slowly smiled at the thought, and giggled, tears brimming his eyes.

Ludwig blinked, standing up straight, a firm hold on Ivan's hand. "Ivan...? Are you okay?"

Ivan nodded and put his other hand on his forehead, glancing down a moment. He nodded, "D-Da...I just..." He swallowed, then shook his head.

Ludwig slowly nodded after a moment. "Let's take you back to the hotel."

The whole walk back was a blur to Ivan, and they didn't talk as much as before. The only thing Ivan remembered was that Ludwig held his hand the whole way. Finally, they ended up in front of Ivan's room. Ivan pulled out his hotel room key and walked inside with him. Ludwig sat him down on the bed and told him to "rest up."

So Ivan did.

But when he woke up, it was even darker than before. Ivan blinked and rubbed an eye, feeling a light breeze soaking through his thin, long sleeved, black shirt. He narrowed his eyes, focusing on the clock next to him on the night stand.

Midnight.

The last night he would spend in Paris.

Alone...?

He sat up, and followed the light of the moon which shined through the glass doors that lead to the balcony, and glanced outside.

There he sat.

Germany.

He was sitting in the corner of the balcony in a chair, reading a book with his boots propped up on the railing.

_"I promise..."_

He watched him for a moment, then stood. After making his way over to the widely cracked glass doors, he slid one door open, and took a step outside. Ludwig looked up from his book, and smiled at Ivan. He stood, laying his book down, then hanging his glasses on the collar of his tank top. "You're awake. Feeling better?" He asked, running a hand through his blond locks.

Ivan met his eyes, "Da...aren't you tierd?"

Ludwig thought a moment and then shook his head in response. "Nein..." He leaned on the railing with his arms crossed, and looked out to the tower, which seemed to watch over the sleeping city.

Russia watched him, and couldn't help but smile. Leaning on the railing next to him, Ivan placed his chin in his hand. He then moved his eyes to the tower as well, and looked up to the pale moon, which sitting in a pond of stars in the sky. "Ludwig...you...you're the only one who doesn't act..._terrified_ of me- who doesn't treat me wrong," he sighed, "You're not the nation everyone thinks you are- or _still _are. You're different...from..them."

Germany stood up straight, and gripped the railing gently, his mouth opening a bit as he processed what Ivan was saying to him.

"You treat me so kind-" Ivan smiled and shook his head with a subtle giggle to himself as he continued, "I never want to stop feeling like this...so- so warm. Its like...you're the only person who can thaw me out... and it feels so good- I don't want to go back home tomorrow and sit in that big house all by myself." He furrowed his brow, and looked at Germany, straightening up to look him in the eyes. Those _endless_ pools which relfected Ivan.

Except...

_Ivan __**liked**__ this reflection._

Ivan slowly worked up an ounce of Russian willpower and placed his hand on the German's. "You're...my very own sunflower field."

Ludwig's mouth was agape as he stared at Ivan, his eyes seemed to be brimmed with small, crystalized tears. "Ivan...I'm sorry..." was all he could manage.

...I'm _sorry?_

_What did he mean?_

Ivan felt his heart stop. Had he just _embarassed himself?_ Ludwig didn't want to be his sunflower, afterall-

It was understandable. Who would want to be?

Ivan looked down, and Ludwig must have noticed his lack of the ability to speak had hurt his friend.

Germany stepped closer and slowly placed his free hand on Ivan's cheek, and traced his jaw down to his chin, lifting so they could meet eyes once more.

"Ludwig...?" Ivan whispered as his cheeks turned rosey, unable to look away from Ludwig's smiling face. His heart fluttered at Germany's simple touch. He felt calm, but at the same time he felt like he could sprint straight through every street of Paris. He let out a deep sigh, and let the soft sounds of the night life below fill his ears. Ivan reached out and placed his hand on Ludwig's cheek, and felt the warmth of his cheek.

After a moment, Ludwig began to close the gap between them, their lips inches apart. He lifted both his hands to Ivan's flushed cheeks and held his face gently, looking back at him. Their lips brushed, and Ludwig could wait no longer. Closing his eyes, he pressed his lips against Ivan's tenderly, and he felt Ivan's arms wrap around his shoulders in response. Germany pulled back a moment, sighing, "Oh Ivan..." The Russian looked more red than ever, and tears were brimming his eyes as well.

Ivan had never been kissed before.

His lips tingled with anticipation. He couldn't keep his eyes off Ludwig. He was beautiful...

Russia moved his hand up and felt Germany's silky blonde locks in his hand as he closed his eyes again, and continued kissing him. He didn't just feel thawed- he felt like he had _melted_ into Ludwig. A tear couldn't help but escape at the new sensation. _True love. _His heart clenched in his chest- no longer from fear of rejection, but from the overflowing joy of the moment. _Acceptance. All Ivan had ever wanted._ They held each other tight, locked in a moment of passion and love they had never felt before. Ludwig's heart beat quickly as he deepened the kiss. Neither of them retreated until one ran out of breath. Their noses touched as they gazed lovingly into each other's eyes.

"I'll never leave you, Ivan...I...I..._...I love you."_

A promise.

_Ludwig had promised._

_A genuine, unbreakable bond._

_"I promise..."_

_I promise, too._


End file.
